Originally published in Midlfe-Awakening.

The Page Turns and Emotions Suck

Emotions don’t actually suck, but they can feel good and can feel bad. Feelings are helpful in a few ways. First, emotions such as anger or frustration can fuel us to focus our energy and effort on something specific that we want to change and help us get more dramatic results. Second, emotions indicate if we are on track or not.

A positive emotion indicates when we are set up favorably to win at something we are focusing on. Feeling good means that you have a desire for something, and you believe you can do it or achieve it…like you are heading for a win. Sometimes we have a desire but doubt we can have it fulfilled, and that feels terrible. There is a balance to achieve when confronted with problems. On one hand, focusing on the problem locks in our thinking and often blocks us from finding a solution. On the other hand, ignoring things that bother you often lets the problem grow. Ignoring your negative feeling emotions and what is causing them is that the problems you are ignoring seem to just keep getting bigger until you are willing to notice them and pay some attention to them.

A negative emotion most often indicates when we are not lined up with our best selves. If you are not accepting something or resisting something that has occurred and are feeling terrible, that generally does not help you. Our best selves can aim for the best outcome in any situation, and flex from previous expectations when appropriate. Feeling bad usually means you are not behaving in a way that aligns with your truest beliefs and values, and we are not heading naturally to what most would call success.

Until we acknowledge what we really feel, those feelings will grow until they overflow to affect many parts of your life

I believe this is just the way we are made. The way I look at it now is this: The fact that our unresolved problems keep getting bigger and heavier in our lives until we deal with them demonstrates that God or whatever you believe created us, loves us…loves us enough to make sure we acquire a desire strong enough for us to eventually deal with our issues and grow past our current limitations. We can leave old weaknesses behind.

Unresolved problems and emotions keep growing louder and louder until we acknowledge them, and probably until we deal with and outgrow them. Left unresolved, these circumstances represent weakness.